The Lord has really been challenging me to examine myself honestly lately, and the things I've been finding have been rather enlightening, challenging, and at times, down-right frightening. I have written about our first year of marriage - the ups and downs, the scrapes and bruises along the way, and ultimately the joy in knowing I am with a man God designed for me. Our second year of marriage has been centered more on settling into our individual roles within the marriage. Since Austin and I, both, were single for several years, living on our own, owning our own homes, settling into our own individual routines, becoming comfortable in our independence, etc., we have struggled some as we have tried to mesh our two worlds. I admit, I have been bull-headed and insistent that my way is right, but I think Austin can admit the same attitude. Through this past year, we have learned, more than ever before, the necessity of humbling ourselves and becoming a true servant to one another.
So, I said I have examined myself. The things I have learned are as follows: I am independent, and at times, I do not consider the desires of the most important person in my life. I am more concerned with pleasing and helping anyone and everyone other than myself and my husband. I over-commit. I plan things every night of the week, and I often do not carve out special time for just me and Austin. (There are several other things that the Lord has revealed to me about my character and habits, which I don't believe are necessary to share in this forum, but I'm working on those too!) These things need to change. I am discovering that the best way for these warts on my character to most naturally fall off is to become a servant to Austin. I'm not talking "yessa' massa', I'll git yer washin' massa'" - I'm talking, put down my crafts for a minute, and do something to lighten the load for my hard-working man! I have to daily die to myself, clean the
The best part about being married to a man who is committed to serving the Lord and growing steadily in his relationship with Christ is that he lovingly guides me towards holiness and redemption. He encourages me to improve the way I handle situations and make my plans. Don't get me wrong, this guy can sin with the best of 'em! But, he is quick to humble himself, and that to me is a dreamy quality! I love how we have gone from being enthralled by external and superficial (not all bad) qualities during dating, engagement, and even through our first year of marriage to being completely enthralled with each others sanctification process. "Check out that sexy humility..." or "Did you see the way he memorized that scripture? Man that's hot..." ha. I love growing. It's cool.
At this point, we are praying for and waiting on our Master's timing in giving us children. As I am far-too-quickly approaching <cough, cough> thirty-years-old, I feel the inklings of stress related to the timing of this life change, but I am grateful that God has shown me and taught me before that His timing is perfect. He brought my husband to me at just the right time (albeit later than I thought He would), and He will bring us a child at just the right time, in just the right way. It is so comforting and exciting to walk through life with my partner.
As we are now beginning our third year of marriage, I feel that the best is yet to come. I know there will be trials and sufferings in the years to come - such is the nature of life - But, I am so grateful that we can strike out, without fear, for He has already overcome!
"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church"
1 Peter 3:1-6
"Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious."