I apologize for the lack of updates over the last few weeks. It has been an emotional roller coaster. The weekend of his birth was filled with so many ups and downs - not only with the adoption process... About three hours after sweet boy was born, I got a call that my brother-in-law had died that same morning. (He and my sister were married for 13 years and have four children together). It was a sudden, unexpected death, so there are so many emotions involved with that. My sister lives about 21 hours by car away from us, and flights were outrageous, so we weren't able to be there, physically, for my family. We also were trying to navigate the adoption process (which has its own emotions associated with it). I truly believe our entire family was under spiritual attack. I think satan has done his best to try to steal every ounce of joy our family has. We refuse to let him! We chose to praise God for our sweet blessing and grieve the loss simultaneously. We have remained joyful, even through sorrow. The phrase "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" is total bologna. First of all, it is nowhere in the Bible. It is a saying that is meant to make people feel stronger or somehow think that everything bad that happens is from God and supposed to be used to teach you lessons or something.... I disagree with the saying/phrase entirely. That weekend was MOST DEFINITELY more than I could handle. Here is the beauty in it though: whatever I was not capable of handling, God handled. Whatever I could not process, He made sense of it. Whenever I was not strong enough to fight the spiritual forces of the dark world, He was my strength. In truth, we can not handle much in this world... There is sorrow, disappointment, grief, and pain. There is a promise in the Bible, "In this world you will have trouble..." (John 16:33) IT'S IN THE BIBLE!! We WILL have TROUBLE!!! It will be HARD!!! But I am soooooooooooooooooooo grateful that God doesn't just leave it with that.... The end of the verse says, "But TAKE HEART! For I (God Almighty) have overcome the WORLD!" What a precious, almighty God we serve! He has taken our burdens, and He has overcome the world already. He does not bring trouble or heartache on us... They are already here. They are part of this sinful world. It is a given. BUT - take heart. He has already overcome it all. He has also promised in Isaiah 61 that He will take our heartaches, sorrow, and brokenness and turn it into something beautiful. "(I will) bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair." We are clinging to these promises, and we have felt the comfort and Joy of The Lord in the midst of the chaos and sorrow.
Now, I HAVE to tell you a little about our sweet boy! He weighed 8lbs 2oz, and was 19 3/4 in long. (big baby!) It was actually a sweet time in the hospital with the birth mother to really bond with baby boy and with her. She expressed all of her emotions, and she was confirmed over and over that she was doing what was most loving for the baby by placing him in our home. It was amazing to see the love she showed to him, and it was so good for our hearts to see that. It is so hard to explain all of the emotions on both sides of an adoption, but all I can say is that is showed us, even more clearly, the selfless love God has for us. We are already SO in LOVE with that boy!!! He has brought joy and life into our home and into our entire extended families as well. My mom and sister were supposed to be in town with us the first week and a half, but due to the circumstances, they had to stay home. They are coming tomorrow, and we are praying for the hearts of my sisters' kids to be steady and comforted by the sweet families who are caring for them, for my mom and sister to find comfort and peace as they hold this sweet baby, and for their hearts to feel confident in The Lord's work of rebuilding what satan meant to destroy - turning the ashes into something beautiful and their mourning into gladness.
I appreciate all of your prayers during this time, and I would so much appreciate continued prayers for our entire family.
I am not, legally, allowed to post pictures of our sweet boy until the adoption has been finalized... I SO WISH I could flood the blog with pictures NOW! But, hopefully by April we will be able to post the thousands of pictures we have already taken!