Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Follow-up on "Thoughts on Infertility" (Advocare - Day 9)

Spark & probiotic
Fiber drink
two eggs scrambled
salad with chicken and balsamic dressing
No idea what to do for dinner yet! I meant to lay something out to thaw before I left for work, but I completely forgot!

Weighed this morning... 5 lbs down! I was hoping for 6, but I'll take 5, gladly!!

So, I wanted to apologize for my raw emotions yesterday. I think sometimes it is cathartic and healing to be able to put your feelings and thoughts "out there" for others to know. Other times, it might be less than fruitful. I pray that you all find either encouragement or compassion from my words, but if you feel otherwise about it, please let me know! My intention is never to offend or harm.

A follow-up from yesterday: 
Our small group has been working through a study by John Piper called "Future Grace". There is an excellent video seminar series that we have been watching every week, and it has been such a convicting, amazing study. Last night, the subject was on Grace in Anxiety and Covetousness. Piper gave so many incredible scriptures and spoke directly to the heart of why we are covetous and anxious.

His definitions of the words:
The loss of a confident sense of security in God with feelings of foreboding that something bad will happen
Intense desire for something that is not for God's glory - to the point where the desire takes away your contentment in the Lord

The whole time he was speaking, I kept thinking about my anxiety about my strong desire for a baby. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't believe that desiring a baby is "not for God's glory", BUT I do think that when that desire takes away my contentment in the Lord, I am absolutely not glorifying God through that desire. It struck me so intensely that we, as humans, can turn something OF GOD into something that tears our hearts AWAY FROM God. How twisted are we?! I have absolutely been feeling anxious about this because I feel that God is withholding something GOOD from ME! I have lost my sense of security in God and I have resigned myself to the idea that God is no longer FOR ME and doesn't want me to have good things! THIS IS NOT TRUE!!! I have coveted my way out of security in GOD?! wow. Austin and I discussed in depth how to fight against this in our hearts. We have decided to start memorizing scripture again. We need weapons to fight! And Scripture is our Sword of the Spirit! We need to have it close so we can use it often! Here is a list of scriptures that Piper pointed out to combat this!

For Anxiety:

Matthew 6:25-33
 25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Romans 8:28-39
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[i] have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written:
“For your sake we face death all day long;
    we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”[j]
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Lamentations 3:22-26
22 Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.
24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
    therefore I will wait for him.”
25 The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
    to the one who seeks him;
26 it is good to wait quietly
    for the salvation of the Lord.
(And My personal favorite in dealing with Anxiety) 
Isaiah 46:3-4
“Listen to me, you descendants of Jacob,
    all the remnant of the people of Israel,
you whom I have upheld since your birth,
    and have carried since you were born.
Even to your old age and gray hairs
    I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
    I will sustain you and I will rescue you 
For Covetousness: 
Hebrews 13:5-6 
Keep your lives free from the love of money [babies?] and be content with what you have, because God has said,
“Never will I leave you;
    never will I forsake you.”[a]
So we say with confidence,
“The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.
    What can mere mortals do to me?”[b] 
 Philippians 4:19
19 And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. 
Philippians 4:11-13   
11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
 Luke 12:15
15 Then he said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.”
 Mark 4:19
19 but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful
 1 Timothy 6:9-10
Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. 
Our plan is to start memorizing a scripture a week... I love this list... Just transposing it onto this blog and reading through them again gives me so much peace and such a strong sense of strength to combat and win! 
I'll see you all tomorrow!  

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